It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
