It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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