Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
