my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
MIDGETS
????
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
