I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
