ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
whose parrot is this?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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