wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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