so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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