I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We need to get me chipped asap
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
