listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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