Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I have post one night stand depression
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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