Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize