About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
