Kiss
Puke
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
