everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
