he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
