Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
farters have to be the big spoon...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
