I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
