i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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