haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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