Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
