did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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