Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
