have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
