Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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