so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
