The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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