My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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