I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
