we're chasing vodka with high fives
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i came on her dog
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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