I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
