Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
