her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's shark week go big or go home
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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