i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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