I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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