I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
