So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
