also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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