Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
40s are totally the cure
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
