So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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