He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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