I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
