I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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