go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
