it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
