you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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