She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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