So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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