he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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