mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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